On the subject of in-laws

My husband and I had a conversation late last night/early this morning. What EXACTLY is an in law? Websters defines it as "person related by marriage or by another legal tie". In early documents, particularly pre-1700, in-law might indicate any relationship under the law; i.e., a man's father in law might be his wife's father or might be his mother's husband (step-father). His brother in law might be his sister's husband, his wife's brother, her sister's husband, or his own step- or half-brother!

So, once again, what is an in-law? What part do they play? What was the intended part an in-law should play? I know that in some minds, an in-law is the outcast forced upon a family by a marriage. But, is that a fair judgment? What did the in-law do to become a "cast" off, "NON real" family member? I consider my in laws to be an extension of my family. Matter of fact, I think they ARE my family. My sister and brother in law are great people whom I admire greatly. My grandmother in laws' are great ladies whom I enjoy spending time with. My father in law, knowledgeable as he is, is a wealth of great information. And I enjoy the company of my mother in law. She is smart and friendly and we share a lot of the same interests.

I sometimes feel that the label "in-law" gives the wrong idea of who or what expectations people have. Before I married, I was warned time and time again about how I may like my future in laws then, but wait til I marry. They will morph into heinous, evil shrew like beings who resent my intrusion into their simple family. WAIT A SECOND? Does this mean I don't get to be a family member???? For the record, I am still waiting for the evil shrew people to appear 2 plus years later. I have given up hopes of capturing their likeness to send to the National Enquirer!

Family is family. We can love those who share our blood (as I do my biological mother) as much as we do those who don't (my parents, my cousins, my husband, MIL, FIL, SIL, and BIL). Adoption proves that blood isn't the end all to end alls to defining family. My cousins are just as much my family as I would have been had we shared a blood tie. No one ever treated me differently growing up because of the blood tie. Why should there be a different way to treat people due to a relationship by marriage? End of RANT!