Sometimes I Wonder...

You know, some days I just wonder why things happen the way they do. I spoke with my biological mother this morning and she informed me that she had had a stroke. I admit, my first concern was not if she was doing better or whether or not she was ok. It was, what would I have done if she wasn't ok. Would I have hopped the first flight? Would I have thrown my hands up in disgust and let others handle the situation. And, almost immediately, I felt guilt because I didn't know what I would have done. Whether people like it or not, she is the woman who gave birth to me. I do not wish pain or conflict upon the woman who is almost as accident prone as I am. (AT least I can say I get it naturally!) What would I do? Would I do the same for her that I would do for any other family member. What if my biological grandfather, whom I have probably spent a grand total of 4 hours in his presence, died? What then? Would I go? Would I hestitate to go unlike if my 3 remaining grandparents were in poor health. I would be there in a heartbeat for my family... but would I be there for Sandy's family. I would do anything for Stephen's relatives. But, would I do anything for those who share my blood? I only hope I never have to know the answer to the extent of this selfishness I feel.