Life As A Cricket?

Sometimes I wonder... if I were an outsider, what would I notice most about those things going on around me. So, I decided to stretch my imagination a little (Ok.. maybe a lot) and describe what one would see if they could be one of those really annoying basement crickets that look like spiders and seem to not move when I get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. *I imagine at least one person out there is going, "I know THOSE crickets!"*

Starting my life as a cricket at midnight, I realize that the Wenzel household is still abuzz with activity. Or at least a little. The dog and Bill are still enjoying the end of whatever it is they are watching on tv. It could be the end of a sports game, a movie, or something equally riveting. The snake is curled up in his cat head birdfeeder. The bird is absolutely silent. And the rest of the house is totally asleep. When Bill and the dog finally wander off into the bedroom, the house finally seems absolutely quiet. The perfect place for a spider cricket, or whatever the heck I am, to just sit back and enjoy being. Not much happens, other than the snake takes a couple trips around the aquarium, until around 6. Jane's alarm goes off. Around 5:45, she gets up to get ready for the day and appears in the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee in her travel cup. She plays with the cat, who magically appears, in multiple locations. Then, she uncovers the bird and leaves to go [to work]. The cat wanders back downstairs and, once again, the place is silent. Around 7, Stephen's clock starts blaring WTOP weather and traffic. It continues to do so for an hour. About the same time the clock stops, the dog and Bill get up to go on a walk. Stephen also gets up and retreats to his computer area to get a couple hours of uninterrupted work time. Then, at 10:15, things get exciting!! Bill returns with dog, Stephen leaves for school, and Kristin logs onto the Internet for the first time to check her mail. Unfortuntely, if I were really this cricket, this is the time I would get stepped on and I'd die. This ends the whole synopsis.

But, as I am not dead... the synopsis continues as such. Sometime after this, Bill leaves to go do whatever he does in the real world (aka: lunch) and Kristin does something to keep her occupied. She may clean, or write, or even play Pogo games for awhile. Then, in the early afternoon, Bill returns. He goes back to his room to watch a movie or turns on the living room tv to the music channel. Kristin continues to occupy herself doing something... anything... downstairs. Finally,nidafternoon, Jane comes home. After a lengthy discussion as Jane drinks tea on downstairs sofa, Kristin and Jane go upstairs! Dinner is made. Dinner is eaten. Jane goes and reads or begins watching educational tv. Kristin rechecks her email. Kristin joins Jane watching educational tv. Stephen gets home around 7:30. Kristin, Jane, and Stephen watch tv until 9:30... this is when the three head off to their rooms.

This does not seem like an entertaining life. I think I rather be squished.