I Think I Am Going To Be Violently Ill

I decided to read the news on the Internet this morning and the first two articles were about a pet groomer who pierced her kittens AND Cheesus!!!! Either one of these articles would make me violently ill, but both of them? I think I made it to the bathroom before I lost breakfast... but I need to double check after I finish writing. Let me tell you more.

Goth Kittens: This idiot, who is a pet groomer by the name of Holly Crawford of Ross Township in Pennsylvania, decided it would be a SMART idea to piece her kittens ears with large studs and submission rings on their necks. THEN, she decided to sell them on the internet as Gothic Kittens at $100 a kitten. If you have seen the photos, the poor kitten looks absolutely horrid and I hope it is not disfigured for life. A human being has a right to pierce whatever the hell they want to. It is their choice. A kitten, who has no say in the matter, being pierced, on the other hand, is a little different. The article had people saying that this is no different than a person declawing their animal. EXCUSE ME? I declawed my cat. You are telling me that placing 14-gauge piercings through their ears and submission rings at the napes of their necks is the same as removing their claws? Yes, declawing sometimes does lead to disfigurement. But, piercings on an animal? That cat is going to get caught on stuff.... those piercing are going to rip out. I can come up with more stuff, but it makes me feel violently ill to even think about it. Let me see, constant pain of piercings on a cat or declawing a cat... which is more ethical? I'll go with the declawing, thank you. I've never regretted doing so and Katie Cat doesn't seem to miss them all that much. However, I will not be sticking a submission ring into her neck, thank you!

Now on to Cheesus! The woman in Missouri does it again. This Missouri woman says she has found Jesus in a bag of Cheetos. Kelly Rame, current owner of Cheesus, opened a bag of Cheetos, she noticed a mini orange sculpture that resembled Jesus. She calls it 'Cheesus'and attempts to sell it on Ebay. This was in July of 2008. Today was a Cheesus update. Ebay doesn't want to sell Cheesus, siting that it has received emails from outraged religious persons demanding that the sacreligious CheeseWhatever be removed. Does this mean no more Toast Marys? No more wallpaper stain Elvis? Footage of the only living stigmata suffering in Orlando? What is the world coming to when Ebay fails to sell something so... monumental? I guess this means that my chances of selling baby naming rights on Ebay to Golden Palace are decreasing day by day. And here I was looking forward to the day Golden Palace Wenzel was conceived. Bummer!

Can any of you explain to me why either of those stories are news worthy? I got more joy out of losing my ebay bid for Jane's 45 of He's coming Home. I was sniped in the last 10 minutes with a bid of $10.50 plus 3.50 for shipping. Instead, I decided to buy the CD. No great loss. And, if that "loser" of a winner emails me one more time and tells me how I couldn't have possibly appreciated the record and he/she can, I'm going to vomit again. And, I'll ship it to their house... free of charge!

End of Rant.