Have You Ever Just Wanted The World To Go Away... Just For A little While.

As I sit down to post today, my daily headache is worse than normal. It hurts so badly that I just want to run downstairs and lock myself in my room and cry. The crying would be simply because my head hurts THAT much. I am hoping that the one cup of coffee I allowed myself this morning and the 2 extra strength Tylenol will help quickly. Otherwise, I am going to have to bring out the heavier duty meds. And, right now, I want to avoid that.



The headache really has little to do with my topic, though. For the past few weeks, we thought the dog had been very lax about asking to go outside and leaving a pile on the floor multiple times daily. We were wondering how the dog, 35 lbs-ish, could have so MUCH to deposit. Well, J. found out yesterday, it isn't the dog! It is the 11 lbs-ish CAT! I swear this cat is crapping her entire body weight multiple times daily. AND she is still using the litter box and making deposits there. So far, every home remedy method has proven Katie Cat proof. She loves wax paper (darn)! She doesn't seem to be bothered by pepper (WHAT?)! Even steam cleaning the floor again, there are only a few more home remedies to try. The vet feels that it is a teritory thing. When the dog claimed the cat's downstairs rug, this happened. When the dog claimed the snake's bedroom, this happened. So, now, the dog may have claimed Katie's (human) room. So, now the cat feels this need to claim that room, too. Sheesh! What is a human to do? The cat is mine. The dog is my in-laws. We both love our animals. No one wants to get rid of either of them. The cat cannot cope outside. The dog wouldn't go out and stay out on a bet. The two realistic options? Upstairs cat box and putting food upstairs. Realistically? Neither is going to work. Wish us luck.

More later.

Tis Official: Broken Toe

It is about as official as a broken toe can get. Definitely broken. Potentially broken in three places. They also tell me I did a number on my ankle (sprain) and knee (potential chip) in the fall. Lucky me!

Today has been a really hard day. Am feeling really achy and horrid and just am having "a down day" in general. I really need some time away today. But, it isn't going to happen.

Frustrated blogger out.

Man, Oh Man, IS My Toe SORE!

When I woke up this morning, I tried to stand up on my left foot. MISTAKE!!! I had pain shooting up my leg extending from the purple spot bruise on my left big toe... and the brown bruisey streak down to my foot. From having broken every toe on that foot at some point in my life, I suspect I have broken the toe AGAIN. I suspect, also, I am going to have to go and get it taped at Urgent Care. If it was another of the toes, I would worry less. But, the big toe is the balance toe. Need to cautious.

Dinner at Kristen's last night was good. I would advise J. to buy more "real chicken" and fewer strips next time. But, the company was great and I enjoyed our evening. The only downside was it was too short an evening. That and J. didn't use her time to talk with her children about B. J. claims that, when she brought it up, neither of her children seemed concerned enough - HENCE she doesn't feel comfortable talking with them about it now. I personally think SHE was the uncomfortable one. Since you both read this blog, children of J., it is up to you to talk with her. Or not. Your choice.

Bruised Blogger Out!

Update: October 26, 2008

I know it has been awhile since I updated. I have been very busy trying to get on with my life despite some really "not so great" and "great" things happening. The PICC line is out and the scar is finally healing. It ooooozed for weeks. But now... it just looks like a purple chicken pox scar. I'm ok with it. Also, finding out that the Lyme Test may have been a false positive and I have gone through 6 weeks of Lyme treatment for nothing, this was a tad bit of a let down. It also came to me as a great shot when my neurologist referred me to a neurosurgeon to get a second option for the meningioma I have had for years and they have done nothing about. Seems this guy feels that it is getting to the point where something might need to be done. After a higher resolution MRI and an upcoming "more functional" CT scan, I will see him again in November to discuss whether he wants to fish for it, let it go, or send me to a Gamma Knife specialist (please let it be the second or third one!). So, healthwise, the Infectious Disease specialist is now out of the picture. She has handed me back to my family doctor and to the care of the two neurologists. I just want to feel better.

Speaking of wanting to feel better, I have lost about 14 pounds in about 2 weeks. No, it isn't because I don't feel good. It is because I am consciously attempting to get healthier. If I have to feel like this, I might as well lose some weight and get some balance and strength back.

With that said, I guess today is not my day. When I was going down the stairs this morning, my knee gave out and I ended up falling down the last three stairs. OM Gosh! It is a good thing I was hanging on or I would have taken out my vacuum cleaner and probably an end table in the process. Instead, I have a majorly swollen ankle, puffy knee, and the right side of left foot is turning purple and swelling. If it is still like this later, I will probably go over to Urgent Care. But knowing where I hit my foot (on the metal banister) makes my feeling of urgency less urgent. This is the third time in less than a week I've had that knee go out. Blasted knee. Maybe losing the weight is the answer for that, too.

We have been playing with our family Christmas gift a little early this year. Jane decided that our family Christmas gift would be a Wii gaming system. I decided, if we were going to get a Wii, I would purchase a Wii Fit and work out on that. It has been the best low impact exercise program I've ever worked with AND worth EVERY penny spent on it. It doesn't kill my knees like walking these hills and is not as much impact as step used to be. But, I still can do step on the Wii and I am learning Yoga slowly. I think Wii and Wii Fit are going to be the best gifts we have ever given ourselves. It doesn't hurt we've also picked up some great games.

I will try to be better about posting more often. This has been a very long post and it doesn't even cover half the things I wanted to say.

One last thing, I wanted to share my plans for the day. Around 4 pm-ish, Stephen, Jane, and I (Bill is watching Drew at a Water Polo meet in New England) will be going to visit the Catonsville branch of the family for dinner. I am so delighted that we will be seeing them. We don't see them enough and I really enjoy spending time with them. We'll pick up some Popeyes Chicken on the way up and Kristen is making potatoes. Stephen picked up a chocolate chip cake for dessert. Sounds like good food and good company!! What a great day this will be!

Welll... Bother!

Today I just feel numb. The cat woke me up at 2 am by bringing me an adorable baby mouse... while I was in bed. There is NOTHING like having a baby mouse run up your blanket, followed by a half-proud cat. They both ended up on the floor... the cat chasing the squeaking mouse and catching it several times (making a loud squealing noise). So much for sleep last night. I then decided to shake my blanket out and Stephen questioned what I was doing. At two, I must not make much sense.... I told him I wanted to make sure there were not any more mouse friends. He laughed and said, "No... you are just trying to get rid of any mouse surprise." ACK!!!!! Now I am definitely NOT going back to sleep! Ingesting mouse excrement? Isn't that how you get the Hantavirus? NO sleep for me!!!

Needless to say, since I also had Ambien last night, I did fall asleep... reluctantly... around 4 am. I woke up around 8 am... groggy and feeling really, really (did I mention REALLY) headache-y. My headache (since July 24th) has been around a 7 out of 10. This was worse. It had throab. It had nausia. It had aura. All I wanted to do was curl up and wish the world away. Hopefully, as the day continues, my headache will steadly get better. I was hoping a shower would do it. It isn't cutting it a bit.

We are supposed to go up to my SIL's house tonight. I emailed her last night to tell her that, although I expected to go up there tonight, I wanted to see how awake Stephen was after getting off work. He worked on a computer project until nearly midnight last night. I woke him up with the mouse issue at 2. His alarm went off at quarter til 7. He looked like a living zombie this morning. I have the feeling he isn't in his best of shapes, either. If my headache does not stop AND he still looks like Night of the Living Dead when he gets home, I feel our road trip must be canceled for lack of coherant drivers. I promise we will see you soon, if that is the case, SIL oh mine.

Update: 10/8/08

Ok... it has been several days since I updated how I'm doing. Here's my update:

The PICC line was removed LAST Wednesday around 8:00 pm. The removal didn't hurt a bit. But, it began hurting about 10 minutes later and I have been told that it should be ok to remove the tegaderm totally in about 24 hours. The last check, it was still oozing a little and bleeding a little.

The blood tests have yet to come back from the second opinion. I have an appointment with them on the 22nd. But... I also have an appointment to see a neurosurgeon consult (as referred by Dr. Asad) from seeing the MRI calcified pieces. I have no worries about that... they are going to say "We're gonna keep an eye on it!"

Otherwise, things aren't great... and we are not making progress in the area of headache/aches. But, hopefully next post, things will be different.

Creative Writing Prompt

Today's Prompt: Write a letter to the 10-year old child you had been.

Dear Kristin:

I know this is hard to believe, but after seeing your future, I felt I needed to write to you. There are things that will happen in your future that, if you know how to handle them, could cause you fewer problems. First of all, I know school is a real bummer for you right now. Everything seems really hard and not really worth the effort. In later years, with your skills that will develop in Language Arts, you will really take off. Don't worry so much about your math skills. At some time, the skills will start to "click". You may not believe it now, but in the future, you will be a teacher. I know right now, your idea is to "get out of school as soon as possible" and you think the best thing is to leave school at sixteen... but, this simply DOES not happen. First of all, you find your place in the educational world when you realize you are a talented writer. Stop laughing... honest! Secondly, you find you work really well with young kids and have a talent for working with them. Just keep an open mind... it will happen sooner than you think!

I also want you to know that you will get out of Iowa soon. You will find somewhere that you actually feel your intelligence is appreciated. I can't tell you much more about that. But, you will.

In the future, you will find a man who will love you very much... and guess what? You love him just as much. You will move from your family to be with him... but you will grow to love your new home and will love your new family more and more with each passing month.

I wish I could make everything better for you. But, the best I can do is tell you to hang in there and keep your mind open to the possibilities of the future.

~Me