After my first blogging for today, I felt bad because it was a long rant about how miserable I felt with UPS deciding that they needed to fire me and because Jane, although kind and mostly compassionate, was being rather pushy. I just needed to go out on a limb and say, "I understand UPS standpoint. They probably are doing the right thing and I told them from the start, I'd understand if they wanted me to resign because this isn't right to keep doing this to them." But, the way they handled it, they really should have a little more.... tact? It isn't like I went out of my way to mislead them. Things happen. We cope. We go on. So, UPS isn't in my future? I'll find some other uses for my brand new work boots (that I cannot return) and my work gloves (I've always wanted my own pair of really nice work gloves!). This also will not stop me from giving it a shot when the PICC line is removed. The worst that can happen? They say a resounding "NO!". How is that any worse than I have now?
This afternoon, after Jane and I ate lunch in a hesitant truce mode, we went to CVS to get a new ace bandage. Jane felt that the self cling ace was a good idea. I'm not so sure. It hasn't even been on an hour to date... is already coming off. But, it wasn't THAT expensive. Maybe it won't be tooooooo bad. But, on our way to CVS, we saw one of my favorite roadside characters... Mr. Golf Club Man! He is this guy who, despite the Prince Georges rules on roadside selling, sells golf clubs out of his car on the county line. He just sits there with a truck full of clubs day in and day out. Where does he get his clubs? Does he find them abandoned? Thrift stores? Buy them from the newspaper/people who don't want them? Are they donated to him by the people leaving golf lessons at the country club? I've always wondered... what is this man's story? Why golf clubs? Does he honestly make money? Since he is on the boarder of two counties, the man can cross over to the other county when the county police visit. But, wouldn't you think Montgomery County would team up with PG and send people out at the SAME time. It isn't like he can walk to Anne Arundel or Howard counties THAT easily. I guess that is one of the negatives of living in the crossroads of four counties in one city.
Hopefully, I'll also cool off and start to accept all that has happened today. I will just have to sit back and listen to Mash and Kristen's Type 53 songs. Or perhaps just sit back and enjoy my new Flogging Molly CD. Or perhaps borrow Stephen's Bishop Allen CD. All three totally different styles of music. But, all of them "mean" something different to me. Type 53 reminds me that, although family means a lot to me, you never know anyone... really know someone... until you listen to them play a set on their MySpace band page. Go Mash and Kristen. Did you know your lead singer sports a mohawk? Flogging Molly reminds me to try new things and, if there is something likable about it, be ready to share why and embrace this new love (I've gotten a T-Shirt and 2 CDs from my SIL. I'm ready to see them in concert... too bad they aren't coming here soon!). And, Bishop Allen? They have taught me that, even if you don't have any idea why you like something, give music a chance and you might find something nice you can say about it. With Bishop Allen, I don't know what that would be. But, there is something "enjoyable" about it... I'll figure it out.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Sometimes We Can Hurt Those We Love The Most: Day 9
Morning, blog-readers. Day nine and counting. But, today's IV was most boring. They couldn't get the drip to work, so they put it on pump. 25 minutes later, I was walking free.
Anywho... back to my prompt for the day. Today was a "Reality" day for me. At 8:45, UPS called to fire me (because they gave me a three week extension... there are no more extensions). They said that when I interviewed, I was Lyme positive and therefore was already displaying symptoms and should have known that I would be unable to work. Plus, after checking with THEIR medical professionals, the IV was "unnecessary" and that they felt I should be able to come back to work NOW. I pointed out that I still have a PICC line and 20 more days of therapy. Pretty much, the word was, "Call us back when you get done. But, don't hold your breath that we'll hire you again. You lied to us about your fitness for duty and we don't rehire people who are dishonest." They seemed to echo every thought I'd had for the last few weeks... blaming myself for everything and wondering why I didn't catch it before. Hence, I have spent a good portion of the morning mentally beating myself up.
The day of discovery continued when Jane informed me that she didn't want to read my law book out loud any more and I would have to use my magnifier. When I attempted to do that, I found that I can only get it to do a few words at a time when it is enlarged to where I can read it. I think Jane is tired of the "helpless" attitude. But, she is pushing me way too hard. I asked her to stop the discussion before I said something I would regret. She pushed it farther. I kept my temper and said that I felt that she was "hitting bellow" the belt when she suggested that I either find a way to make the magnifier work or I quit law school. I AM NOT QUITTING LAW SCHOOL! I was perfectly happy with listening to my text. But, Jane has really hurt me deeply. So much so, I have gone to the safety of the downstairs area as to not shout things I don't really mean as so to hurt her back. And I love Jane too much to belittle her in such a manner when she is doing everything in her power to make things easier for me. I mean, she takes me to my treatments, she helps me put the darn wrap on, she is the voice of reason when I need to talk. But, right now, I cannot handle the UPS thing and trying to find a solution for the law school reading. I was understanding verbally JUST FINE! Why decide to change? I'm logging off before I type something I will regret, too.
Sad PowerPicc user out.
Anywho... back to my prompt for the day. Today was a "Reality" day for me. At 8:45, UPS called to fire me (because they gave me a three week extension... there are no more extensions). They said that when I interviewed, I was Lyme positive and therefore was already displaying symptoms and should have known that I would be unable to work. Plus, after checking with THEIR medical professionals, the IV was "unnecessary" and that they felt I should be able to come back to work NOW. I pointed out that I still have a PICC line and 20 more days of therapy. Pretty much, the word was, "Call us back when you get done. But, don't hold your breath that we'll hire you again. You lied to us about your fitness for duty and we don't rehire people who are dishonest." They seemed to echo every thought I'd had for the last few weeks... blaming myself for everything and wondering why I didn't catch it before. Hence, I have spent a good portion of the morning mentally beating myself up.
The day of discovery continued when Jane informed me that she didn't want to read my law book out loud any more and I would have to use my magnifier. When I attempted to do that, I found that I can only get it to do a few words at a time when it is enlarged to where I can read it. I think Jane is tired of the "helpless" attitude. But, she is pushing me way too hard. I asked her to stop the discussion before I said something I would regret. She pushed it farther. I kept my temper and said that I felt that she was "hitting bellow" the belt when she suggested that I either find a way to make the magnifier work or I quit law school. I AM NOT QUITTING LAW SCHOOL! I was perfectly happy with listening to my text. But, Jane has really hurt me deeply. So much so, I have gone to the safety of the downstairs area as to not shout things I don't really mean as so to hurt her back. And I love Jane too much to belittle her in such a manner when she is doing everything in her power to make things easier for me. I mean, she takes me to my treatments, she helps me put the darn wrap on, she is the voice of reason when I need to talk. But, right now, I cannot handle the UPS thing and trying to find a solution for the law school reading. I was understanding verbally JUST FINE! Why decide to change? I'm logging off before I type something I will regret, too.
Sad PowerPicc user out.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
By The Request Of My Mother.... What does your arm look like, Kristin?
First off, thanks to Stephen for downloading this pictures from his mother's new camera. I have been bugging him all day to download the images. When I spoke with my mom today, I tried to explain to her how much room the line and the ace bandage take up. I wanted these images up so my mom could see. So, after dinner tonight, Stephen downloaded these four photos. My mother in law says, at this time, I must give the disclaimer (although there is nothing gross about any of these pictures) "Do not look if you are weak stomached or if you don't like gross things." I personally think she meant Stephen shouldn't look at them (he isn't fond of blood)... but I don't really see anything gross about it. It is my arm... no blood... no pus... no ick. Anyways...
This first phot is a photo of my ace covered arm. You can see the bruise farther down on my arm from about a week ago. The ace covers about 5 1/2 inches up my arm starting at the elbow. And, yes, the clips are twisted. The clips are attached to the ace bandage and we keep getting it wrong side down. Hence, we twist it and clip.
Ok... a second shot of my arm. A little bit more in focus. You can see our side door in the background and the kitchen hood light behind that.
Ok. This photo was taken my Jane (my mother in law) this afternoon. It gives a shot of the whole set up. The blue port is attached to the tube which goes down past that white thing that looks like a butterfly. In reality, that white butterfly is a sticky thing that has prongs that keep the tubes immobile. From the butterfly, you can see a white circular thing. That is directly over where the tubing goes into my arm. The function? No clue... but it looks neat!
A little closer up view of the picc line. Although, a little blurry, you can see the line a little more clearly. The tubing IS purple, in case you were wondering. The first sticker says the PICC was put in on the 5th and the outer covering (which you can barely see) was changed on the 8th. You can see the butterfly piece a little clearer, as well as the white circular cotton thing. The only thing you can't see well is my bruise. You can see a little of the discoloration off to the right of the white circle... but it is that color or darker on the underside of the circles and onto the back of my arm.
Well, Mom... I hope this was what you wanted to see. My arm... My PICC... my bruising. Yes, these are really of me. Jane took them today. No flames if it makes you feel a little sick. :)
This first phot is a photo of my ace covered arm. You can see the bruise farther down on my arm from about a week ago. The ace covers about 5 1/2 inches up my arm starting at the elbow. And, yes, the clips are twisted. The clips are attached to the ace bandage and we keep getting it wrong side down. Hence, we twist it and clip.
Ok... a second shot of my arm. A little bit more in focus. You can see our side door in the background and the kitchen hood light behind that.
Ok. This photo was taken my Jane (my mother in law) this afternoon. It gives a shot of the whole set up. The blue port is attached to the tube which goes down past that white thing that looks like a butterfly. In reality, that white butterfly is a sticky thing that has prongs that keep the tubes immobile. From the butterfly, you can see a white circular thing. That is directly over where the tubing goes into my arm. The function? No clue... but it looks neat!
A little closer up view of the picc line. Although, a little blurry, you can see the line a little more clearly. The tubing IS purple, in case you were wondering. The first sticker says the PICC was put in on the 5th and the outer covering (which you can barely see) was changed on the 8th. You can see the butterfly piece a little clearer, as well as the white circular cotton thing. The only thing you can't see well is my bruise. You can see a little of the discoloration off to the right of the white circle... but it is that color or darker on the underside of the circles and onto the back of my arm.
Well, Mom... I hope this was what you wanted to see. My arm... My PICC... my bruising. Yes, these are really of me. Jane took them today. No flames if it makes you feel a little sick. :)
Day 7 and 8: What A Beautiful.... Bruise You Have There, Kristin
Once again, I apologize for not updating. Yesterday, although not overwhelming, was a major headache day. I notice, the more the windows are open (allowing allergens to appear), the more my head hurts (and the more stuffed up and drippy I become). One would think, with all the medications I am on for allergies, this would be less of a problem. Sigh! At least it will be warm enough to have the AC back on today.
I decided that, since my phantom blogger has been a little more vocal recently, this blog would go to "registered comments only" mode. At least until my health is a little better. Unfortunately, my phantom blogger has outsmarted the settings again by registering for a wordpad account with a asian email. I want you to know, Phantom Blogger, that I am taking these messages as a personal threat and have contacted the local authorities on this matter. They are quickly closing in on you and I don't think you will find this as funny if and when I press charges.
Both IV drip days have been uneventful. I am starting to get a little sick of yogurt... but that is to be expected when one has to eat two to three containers of it daily. For those of you who have asked, no... not feeling any better today. But I have high hopes that I will wake up one of these mornings soon feeling better.
The topic for today's blog is taken from an observation on of my nurses made the other day regarding my PICC line bruise. It is multi-colored and is actually kinda pretty... in a mutated sunset bruise kinda way. But, so far, PICC line and I are not having too many problems. I will live with it if it can live with me.
Hope all is well with all of you out there in cyberspace. PowerPicc Blogger OUT!
I decided that, since my phantom blogger has been a little more vocal recently, this blog would go to "registered comments only" mode. At least until my health is a little better. Unfortunately, my phantom blogger has outsmarted the settings again by registering for a wordpad account with a asian email. I want you to know, Phantom Blogger, that I am taking these messages as a personal threat and have contacted the local authorities on this matter. They are quickly closing in on you and I don't think you will find this as funny if and when I press charges.
Both IV drip days have been uneventful. I am starting to get a little sick of yogurt... but that is to be expected when one has to eat two to three containers of it daily. For those of you who have asked, no... not feeling any better today. But I have high hopes that I will wake up one of these mornings soon feeling better.
The topic for today's blog is taken from an observation on of my nurses made the other day regarding my PICC line bruise. It is multi-colored and is actually kinda pretty... in a mutated sunset bruise kinda way. But, so far, PICC line and I are not having too many problems. I will live with it if it can live with me.
Hope all is well with all of you out there in cyberspace. PowerPicc Blogger OUT!
Friday, August 8, 2008
Catch-Up: Day 6 and Day 7
I apologize for not posting yesterday. I was absolutely worn out! Yesterday morning, around 3 am, I woke up and was WIDE awake. Therefore, I was existing on very little sleep yesterday. Not only did I go to IV therapy, but we had an outing to the mall to meet up with my SIL and niece. While there, we checked out various shops... then went to J&P's for lunch. Yum!
Today's session with the IV was a little more painful. Today was gauze change day. THAT HURT! At 7 am, I had an appointment in Towson... so we had to get up early and go. I think this is going to be a "take a pain pill.... conk out" day. I just out and out hurt! As Dr. Shah said yesterday when I presented with a brand new sore throat/swollen glands, " You took three steps forward... why did you just take 4 backwards?" I feel like I just took one more back because my ankles and knee are playing the "How swollen and sore can you be" game. The answer is, I guess, VERY SORE.
PowerPicc user out!
Today's session with the IV was a little more painful. Today was gauze change day. THAT HURT! At 7 am, I had an appointment in Towson... so we had to get up early and go. I think this is going to be a "take a pain pill.... conk out" day. I just out and out hurt! As Dr. Shah said yesterday when I presented with a brand new sore throat/swollen glands, " You took three steps forward... why did you just take 4 backwards?" I feel like I just took one more back because my ankles and knee are playing the "How swollen and sore can you be" game. The answer is, I guess, VERY SORE.
PowerPicc user out!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Day 5: Is That All? Piece of Cake!
Today was day 5 of treatment and Dr. Shah came into to talk with me. This is the first time she seemed to be pleased with me, in general. For the first time, she mentioned that the 28 days of IV treatment is "probably just a start" and IV treatment is probably going to be longer. Not unexpected... but nice to hear her say it out loud. My appointment with Dr. Asad is this afternoon (2 pm). I somewhat look forward to this appointment... if only to get some answers about how to get rid of this blasted headache. I feel like the rotating advil/tylenol isn't doing anything. So, maybe Dr. Asad will have some better solutions.
Back to treatment. Although my arm is a little sore from the PICC line (bruised is more like it), the treatment went well. The nurses all were so positive about the line and the treatment went much more smoothly now that the port doesn't require jabbing and hunting for veins. I have to say.... my infusion nurses have been very kind, sweet, and nice. They have gone that extra mile to make me feel safe and supported. I will have to do something nice for them after these treatments are over... I bet they get people doing that a lot, though. My "favorite" nurse was in today and I hope she'll be in when Stephen goes with me tomorrow. She just has this great sense of humor and keeps positive about everything. I was complaining slightly about the insurance company being goofy yesterday. Her reply? "Having all this stuff happen gives you plenty of stuff to write about on that blog of yours!" I was shocked they even knew I blogged. They said that the IV tech mentioned it to them... I guess I said something about the last stick being something I'd have to write about on the blog. It makes me feel good to get a happy greeting from the nurses.... at least they don't think, "Ohh, crud. There's Mrs. Wenzel again!" Or at least they don't say it out loud. PowerPicc wearer OUT!
Back to treatment. Although my arm is a little sore from the PICC line (bruised is more like it), the treatment went well. The nurses all were so positive about the line and the treatment went much more smoothly now that the port doesn't require jabbing and hunting for veins. I have to say.... my infusion nurses have been very kind, sweet, and nice. They have gone that extra mile to make me feel safe and supported. I will have to do something nice for them after these treatments are over... I bet they get people doing that a lot, though. My "favorite" nurse was in today and I hope she'll be in when Stephen goes with me tomorrow. She just has this great sense of humor and keeps positive about everything. I was complaining slightly about the insurance company being goofy yesterday. Her reply? "Having all this stuff happen gives you plenty of stuff to write about on that blog of yours!" I was shocked they even knew I blogged. They said that the IV tech mentioned it to them... I guess I said something about the last stick being something I'd have to write about on the blog. It makes me feel good to get a happy greeting from the nurses.... at least they don't think, "Ohh, crud. There's Mrs. Wenzel again!" Or at least they don't say it out loud. PowerPicc wearer OUT!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
The Great PICC Line Debate
I forgot to mention in my last post how much help my husband Stephen has been in this PICC line problem. He had a PICC line in 2001 and has been very upfront about having a line. Since Dr. Shah has given me practically no practical help, Stephen was vital to my getting information toward deciding whether this was right for me or not. Thanks, Stephen. I owe you one.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)