Listening... Not A Spectator Sport?

The definition of listening, as defined by the Farlex free dictionary (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/listening) is as follows:

1. To make an effort to hear something.
2. To pay attention; heed.

Not listening is the number one spousal complaint among married couples... and in Singapore, it is claimed to be the number one reason why Singaporeans get divorced (alife.com). Marriage therapists recommend the following tips to communicating properly:

• Don't Interrupt. Let your spouse finish what he/she is saying.
• Keep an open mind. Don't jump to conclusions as it prevents you from truly listening.
• Make listening a priority. Let go of your own agenda. Make eye contact by not staring at the TV or flipping the newspapers.
• Use feedback technique. Let your partner know that you heard what he/she said by validating and saying something like, "I hear you saying..."
• Watch for non-verbal cue from both sides, like shrugging shoulders, tone of voice, crossing arms or legs, nodding, eye contact or looking away, facial expressions (smile, frown, shock, disgust, tears, surprise, rolling eyes, etc.), and mannerisms (fiddling with papers, tapping your fingers). 55% of the message is delivered through non-verbal signs.
• Blocks to listening. Avoid blocks like mind reading, rehearsing, judging, advising, sparring and changing the subject.
• Stay focused on the main points that your spouse is talking about. It's ok to ask questions to clarify what you thought you heard.
• Gender differences. Men often share because they want to give information or solve a problem. Women tend to talk to connect with someone or to get information.
• Show respect. Respect your spouse's point of view, even if you disagree with what is being said.
• Advice & Talking. Don't give advice unless asked for it. You can't listen and talk at the same time. Feelings are neither right or wrong.

It blows my mind the number of times I'm out in public, or even here in the Wenzel household, and someone says something important and you JUST know that the person or persons listening are missing vital information. I also hate it when, because these same people missed the vital information, they suddenly jump to "You didn't tell me" such and such. Drives me nutsy. I know I am not the perfect communicator. I tried to do way too much on my own and don't always like sharing. But, doggone it! If someone tells you to buy stamps today and get the "forever stamps", don't go and get a packet of stamps that won't be any good after next week when prices go up. The postal officials, as I noticed this morning at the post office, don't care what good excuse you have. If you were not listening to the person who told you to get the forever stamps and got the Mickey Mouse ones (cos we all know Mickey is adorable... who wouldn't want to open a letter with a Mickey stamp on it), don't expect the post office to make it right for you. The poor guy this was happening to was literally crying.... his wife made him immediately come back and try to exchange the stamps. No such luck, crying guy. You are stuck with the stamps AND you have to try to come up with a use for all those stamps OR buy penny stamps to make your "grave error" correct. I bet his wife is going to be oh so pleased when HE gets home!

What will solve this conundrum of the not listening revolution? Ideas, anyone?