Well.... Congrats to Ashli and Just Blast It All!

I am delighted for my cousin Ashli. She is a great person with a wonderful personality. Her blog has just announced she is pregnant with her third child. I am personally incredibly happy for her. And, I mean that with every ounce of my being. She deserves nothing but happiness.

With that said, I've been putting off posting anything about my being pregnant until I was sure I wasn't going to miscarry this one, too. Well... the Clements family was going to have two babies born probably weeks between each other. It wasn't meant to be, I guess. I officially miscarried last Tuesday evening/early Wednesday morning. The blood test was, in the words of the ER tech, "wonky" on Tuesday evening, so they redid it on Wednesday. It showed that the thyroid level spiked and the HcG levels plummeted. I'm very sad, but Ashli's news really does seem to make it a little easier. I expected her news to really send me for a loop... in a bad way. But, I really am delighted for her and I think that it just wasn't the right time. Had I found out a week ago, I would have been devastated, I think. But, all I can say right now is... BLAST it ALL! And, Congrats to the Welsh family.

Wish I Knew What To Do

On various different fronts, it seems like, even when I know the right thing to do, I don't do it. As a reader, I'm sure you are scratching your head in confusion. But, as scrambled as that seems, that is exactly what I mean! For example, I received an email this morning from someone in my past. This person accidentally emailed me (I'm sure she didn't mean to) with something that concerns me about as much as knowing that the current river level at Lock and Dam #11 (General Zebulon Pike Lock and Dam) on the mighty Mississippi. In other words, nothing that really concerns me all that much. The thing is, my heart soared at the idea of receiving email from this person. In my heart, I know the best thing to do would be ignore the email. It was a mistake to get that mail in the first place. And, calling the person on an accidental email COULD be embarrassing. I would hate to embarrass this person. But, another part of me feels like, despite it being an accident, I really, really want this to be an opportunity to reach out and email this person back. Because we haven't spoken since at least 1999, maybe even earlier than that. I have spent a good portion of my morning (after studying for my LSATs, of course) composing a email to her to just say hi. I keep erasing it, though. I couldn't send what I am writing... for many reasons. *a* It sounds too sappy. *b* Too much has happened since we last spoke. *c* MY past hero worship is way in the past. I see her as a flawed, yet wonderful, human being now. My email does not sound like one who has moved away from such hero worship. Oh, well. Hopefully will figure out what to do.

Another thing is my current difficulties with my doctor's appointments. Yesterday's appointment did not go well at all. I left with extreme feelings of anger beyond what I feel is completely acceptable. I really don't know what to do. Part of me feels like this isn't working for me. And, if that is true, maybe I need to make a change. Or, at the very least, do something constructive with how I feel. I have to go back NEXT week (Tuesday), so it means a 45 mile one way trip back there once again. Dragging Stephen and Jane with me makes me even more upset. They don't deserve this. I don't want this any more. It is causing more conflict than is healthy. But, I cannot stop feeling everyone "has my best interests at heart" and I am trying not to "rock the boat". Sigh! Why can't doing what is right be the same as doing what seems best.

Sorry That It Has Been So Long!

Like the title says, I humbly apologize that it has been so long since I posted. With the family here, there was very little opportunity to post. Jane's mother has left (I really, really, REALLY miss her), as have my parents. Jane is back at work and Stephen has gone back to his semester break schedule. So, I'm free to blog whenever I want.

There is only one small problem with the being free to resume my previous schedule. I do not feel motivated to do ANYTHING. I wish I did. I gained back a lot of the weight I lost because of being sick. I feel like a blimp and I want to get up and move. No energy though. All I want to do is get more sleep. Personally, I'm not sure it would be humanly possible to get any more sleep. But, I'll give it a couple more days before I contact the doctor again.

Glad to be back in the land of the blog!

Personal Failure At Knitting

Well... I can now say that I understand how my ex-students felt. I have decided that I am a personal failure at knitting. My GIL attempted to teach me how to knit and I personally feel as if I have no more clue how to knit than I did when I started. Just when I felt I MIGHT be able to understand what we were doing, we needed to do something else. I was reaching the point where my frustration was greater than the feeling of success I might have felt for doing things right in the first place. I needed to give it up and my appreciation for all those knitting people in the world has grown exponentially.

Did I mention that I really don't care if I ever try that again? I personally think maybe I should stick with those crafts I already can do without poking myself in the eye with needles! But, GIL is a great sport and she really wanted me to succeed. Just for her, I'll keep practicing. Hopefully, not unlike learning the guitar, it will get easier quickly and I feel less flustered soon.

I Blog. You Blog. We ALL Blog!

I just got off the phone with my mother. She, for the first time, has read my blog. I realized, quickly, after the fact, my mother in law will have to become an avid reader, too. Everyone who reads probably gets a better idea of "Kristin" when they read what I write because I am amazingly honest when I write and this is the "real" me. No one to tell me that my feeling as not worthy or no one to tell me that my feeling are abnormal. Oh, well. Onto the blog topic for today... my trip to get my new meds at WalMart!

Many of you know about the CVS story (they messed up my meds and almost sent me home with someone else's medication). So, I decided to change my medications to WalMart. It is also cheaper by $2 to take it to WalMart. So, I took it in. The lady there told me that I had to go to CVS and sign something releasing the med to WalMart. We (MIL, GIL, and myself) trudged over to CVS and THEY said they would not call WalMart. WalMart needed to call them! So, I went back to WalMart and a new pharmacist aide tells me that he made a call to CVS and not to worry. Despite the fact the company policy is for CVS to call.... he did it anyways. I have my new meds and we are home free. I like WalMart!

I have to end my post sooner than normal. My GIL is trying to teach me to knit. Will probably blog again later.

The Wonderful World of Sports

I think most people of my generation can remember the opening scene of ABC's Wonderful World of Sports. It usually came on just as the cartoons were ending. In my household, unlike most of my friends, Wonderful World of Sports meant to turn the TV off for the day. Unlike my friends, whose fathers would come down and watch sports on ABC after cartoons were over, my dad had very little interest in those sports. But, that is not the point of this post... really, it isn't! The point of the post is thus... this house is beginning to remind me of a bad Wonderful World of Sports "episode"/"event". My MIL gets home last night AFTER my FIL and husband left to pick up the in law's car from the dealership where it was being repaired. Nearly two hours later, about an hour after my FIL had returned, my husband appears. Hey, guys... we normally have dinner at 5:15ish or 5:30! It is now 7:00! Unfortunately, my FIL must have missed the baton hand off while my husband was gone because, as soon as husband had returned, we had to wait dinner on my FIL because HE LEFT again. It was at least 7:15 before we got a chance to eat our rather slurpy spaghetti.

The whole thing continued to remind me of WWofS as the evening wears on. Jane was trying to clean the house (her mother arrives tomorrow... YAY!). First roadblock in the way of her winning the HouseCleaning 200 was "The BROKEN dining room chair"! Yes, the new suite is BROKEN. They have had the darn thing for approximately 2 months. She finds a bolt on the floor and the chair NEAR falling apart. This causes her to lose concentration and go into a mini venting session over the chair. I attempt to calm my cleaning team mate... but no avail. I think the Wenzel Women's Cleaning team is again destined to lose the HouseCleaning 200! Just when I think she is calm, she finds her next stumbling block. But, what is it??? It looks like a vomited piece of... WHAT the heck is that? I get called in as judge because it is suspected it came from my cat. Ummmmm.... no way in hades did something THAT large come from a cat. It is solid, and yellow, and vomity. It looks like a really large pepper... like the ones PapaJohn's sends with their pizza. Being the mother figure, Jane, like my mother would do, tackles this object head on... sniffs it, pokes at it, tries to cut it open. She comes to the conclusion it looks like a really large apricot. Looking at the dog, we figure someone (not naming names *coughFILcough*) has fed the dog apricots. Ok, problem solved, at least for now. Let's vacuum! Jane then begins the vac-ing portion of the Cleaning 200 while I self-centerly continue to look at the vomit and complain that the cat gets blamed for all vomit now-a-days. So, I become disqualified from the Wenzel Women's team. Not that I care... the lack of food has caused me to feel like I'm going to faint. Where are those team medics when I need them???

Sometime between feeling faint and Jane power vac-ing, FIL arrives home from wherever he went to go to the store (must have been a neighboring country because he was gone A LONG TIME for just a gallon of milk). We then sit down to eat... in which FIL, my husband, and I all are disqualified from the spaghetti neatness event when we all slop sauce and spaghetti water all over our clothing. Jane comes out the winner in that event, although she doesn't seem to appreciate this fact... she wants a shower and to get pj's on. To do this, however, she has to finish the last leg of vac-ing! So, as a last minute substitute for dishwasher, I step in to clean up the kitchen so she can vac! I pull my loyal team member husband to help. He pouts and we lose valuable time arguing over who is going to wash and who is going to dry (or why he has to help in the first place). The gold star is denied the team because we did not use our time wisely and failed to get out of the way before the Tennis Ball Kicking team took the field after dinner.

Just when I am thinking that the HouseCleaning 200 needs to occur as often as the Olympics, magically clean teammate Jane appears. She settles in for the last event of the evening. Relaxing in front of the TV because the work (HAHAHAHA) is done. Unfortunately, this event is quickly canceled in favor of a minor debate on where the screw went for the broken chair (in which every member of the house is interrogated over this missing object. Once again, the cat is blamed.) and a lively disagreement over word usage. At this point, I give up acting like a human being, grab a bowl of popcorn, and decide this may be more interesting to watch than participate in. Jane quickly loses interest in the CSI on the TV and begins to snooze, as is her right. She has worked all day and participated in a hugely unpopular competition in which she had NO HELP and lots of stumbling blocks to overcome. I decide that Jane watching is not a good sport and decide to watch House episodes on my laptop. FIL continues to grumble and grouse about the women of the household. And, my favorite team member, my husband, is noticeably absent... hiding in the storage room in the basement. He says he was studying for a final exam ... but I don't believe him. He was just hiding from the shame of defeat. Or was that hiding from conflict.

And here we hear Jim McKay say, "Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sport… the thrill of victory… and the agony of defeat… the human drama of athletic competition… this is ABC's Wide World of Sports!" *ROLL CREDITS*

Sometimes I Really Wonder...

For the first time in a long time, I feel like I have the required energy to go about my day. This is a good thing, I guess. But, I really wish, with this increased energy awareness I suddenly am regaining, that lack of muscle fatigue would also appear, too. Sigh!

Getting onto the topic of the post for today. Sometimes I really wonder about life. Things don't ever seem to happen the way they should. I have been waiting for over a year for my Workers Compensation case to be finalized, which would allow me the opportunity to go back to work and start having a paycheck again. Last time I checked, I'm not even on the schedule for a hearing, my lawyer has no intentions of doing anything to "get the ball rolling", and the school district has no intentions of paying me back pay until the case is settled. This case COULD be in limbo for a whole additional YEAR! Not sure how Stephen and I plan on living for another year on what he makes, but it is either drop my case or put up with limboland.

Another thing I don't understand is the phantom emailer. That's right. Our family has a phantom emailer. We are receiving odd emails, strange free samples, and vacation information from Midwestern states. The Mormons paid the house a visit last weekend to bring us a Bible. J. very nicely thanked them for coming and explained phantom emailer to them. She didn't take the Bible, though. I thought very bad for these poor guys who trudged out here to "Spread the Word of God" to us. I mean, getting free stuff isn't a crime. But, wasting the time of those poor young witnessing Mormons was cruel. I really wish this would stop.

On the same topic, I don't understand the male portion of the human race right now, either. My husband and father-in-law have gone temporarily ignorant during this holiday season. Neither of them seem to realize how much of a mess they leave in their wake. I have tried to help J. keep the house clean... but these two seem to have made it their mission to self-destruct whatever effort is made to clean. It took me 45 minutes to wash the kitchen floor yesterday. It was painstaking scrubbing. My back hurt for hours after the fact. It took my father in law 5 minutes to have mud, dirt, and dog slobber ground into the floor. FIVE MINUTES to undo 45 minutes of work! How is it possible? My own husband seems to think cleaning does itself and then looks "put out" when I ask for assistance. I sometimes get the feeling that, because I'm home all day and on leave, he thinks because he is a student AND works at Party Co., the greater responsibility should be on me to clean. I personally think if we both spent 15 minutes a day, we'd have things under control. Oh, well. I may never understand men. I love both of the guys though. They make it near impossible not to.

I am hoping that my mother in law follows through on her threat to hide in a room for two days after Christmas. This sounds cruel, at first read... doesn't it? What I mean is, the poor lady has had NO DOWN time since August. She needs some relaxation time for doing NOTHING. I hope she finds some great videos, a nice warm place to read, and just "chills" for a couple days. She needs it BADLY!

Countdown to my parents visit: T-minus 5 days!
Countdown to my grandmother in law getting here: T-minus 2 days!